Let's Beat Some Ass!


I love this quote from Nick Markakis. Everybody over there does deserve a beating Nick, and I can't wait to see you chase Altuve around the field with your bat during warm-ups when the Astros roll into Atlanta on September 25th of this year. Folks I hate to be dramatic here, but Markakis may have just saved baseball. What's one sure fire way to inject some energy into your snoozer of a sport? Fighting. We need to make every single baseball diamond as hostile as a poorly lit back alley, and the Astros are the perfect team to use as a catalyst for this. I really don't care that they cheated, I mean it wasn't like the Pirates were effected as they were royally sucking ass, as is the Pirate tradition. I do care about baseball though and want to save the sport I love and I just don't see a better way to do this then by letting teams fight each other almost twice a series. This year, you will see the Astros get thrown at more often than any team in the history of the sport. Don't turn the other cheek Houston. You charge that mound with the fire of hell burning in your soul. You know how to clear your name and expel the narrative that you ruined baseball? Start fighting every single team that throws at you, start a new bench clearing trend in baseball, make ratings sky rocket, and you go from the team that ruined the sport, to the team that saved it in just one years time.

Every single Astros game this year should feature a display like this:

Boom. Consider baseball saved. You're welcome Astros.

(Photo Courtesy of Getty Images)

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