Dave Daubenmire, a minister from Ohio, is PISSED at the NFL. All because the "crotch grabbing" and "soft pornographic" performance by J-Lo and Shakira, that "penetrated the sanctity of his home" and is going to keep him from reaching the kingdom of heaven. Tough break Dave, but looks like you'll be burning in hell like the rest of us. I'm actually going to have to disagree with Dave on this one though. In my mind, they should've ditched the soft core stuff that no one cares about and give us the hard core debauchery that we all crave on a daily basis. 2021 in Tampa Bay should be fully nude. Both men and women on stage, lubed up, gyrating up and down stripper poles and causing early teenagers across the country to experience a true coming of age moment. But I digress. Anyway back to Dave. The dude is asking for 867 TRILLION!!! dollars in a settlement. Have to give him credit here, this is an elite level negotiation tactic. Start out with a figure absolutely so ridiculous and impossible to receive so that when you counter with just a measly 50 million, the NFL thinks they're getting out of this on the cheap. I hope Dave gets his money and enjoys it to the fullest for the rest of his life before suffering eternal damnation when he dies because he committed the unspeakable sin of consuming pornographic entertainment.
P.S. My favorite quote from the New York Post story linked above: "In a Thursday webcast, Daubenmire said he received backlash for his earlier post, including having been sent pornographic images and being propositioned for sex.'I’ve seen pictures of large penises and I appreciate it, but, no, I don’t want to receive any of them'" Unreal thing for Dave to be like I really appreciate all of the large penis picture I've gotten but please stop.
P.P.S. Okay one last thing that Daubenmire said in the story: “J.Lo is 50, You go on a porn website, you’re not looking for 50-year-old women.”
Speak for yourself Dave, I mean who doesn't love a good MILF.