Adam Crowley

Adam Crowley

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Three hours of gratuitous violence bookend J-LO/Shakira concert


Moments after Shakira and Jennifer Lopez's final embrace on Sunday, they were whisked off the field at Hard Rock Stadium. Within minutes, hoards of giant men stepped onto the grass and repeatedly bashed their skulls against one another.

"I was disgusted by how much violence I witnessed," Lopez said. "It was supposed to be a family show."

Adoring fans were rushed off the floor in a mad panic immediately after the concert.

Shakira was taken aback, "Lo sentí por mi vida. Nunca he estado tan aterrorizado. Sé que Jenny es del Bronx, así que me oculté detrás de ella."

To make matters worse, this gratuitous act of violence was broadcast worldwide on Fox.

"It was quite the spectacle. Terrifying," Joe Buck said flatly with no variance in his tone.

The chaos ensued for a little over three hours.

A mother of four who chose to remain nameless shuttered and said, "I grew up watching and listening to Madonna. I wanted my children to see Shakira and J-Lo tonight, but what they saw was wholly inappropriate. Those men were barbaric and set a terrible precedent for my two young boys."

Lopez's own daughter was on the stage along with scores of other children. They were placed in cages for their own protection while they were hurried from the field.

"Thank God Pittbull didn't have to see this."

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